Wednesday, October 16, 2013

What A Man Wants. Is it really?

Am I wrong to say that the perception of what a man wants, or dreams of, when it comes to sex is simplicity? Get it when they want, on the regular, how they want it and no dragged out emotions about it. Add in a hot girl who "delivers".

Not to get into the whole "no strings attached" conversation again. This time it's not about the question of whether it can work or not, its about making it work. What brought this up is a conversation that has come up a few times lately with some single girlfriends of mine. I'll say we get a little confused when giving a guy that simplicity, and the guys seem to turn a little girly, or lazy, or whatever you wanna call it. They certainly don't act like they won the lottery.

What I mean by "simplicity":

A girl and a guy. Friends. Know each other well, get along but don't jive as a relationship and both are not looking for one either. The attraction in the bedroom however is bang on! Somewhere in there an arrangement is made. I guess you can call this a booty call arrangement. No obligations, no relationship emotions, just simply fun sex and unattached sex. AWESOME situation right guys? Isn't that what you have asked for, or reference to and wish for? I understand that some of you don't agree, or can relate to this this kind of arrangement, and that's fine. This kind of relationship is not for everyone. Nor is this post. 

So when you find a girl who actually delivers on this simplistic arrangement. Why do guys turn lazy about it, all girly with excuses and literally get into that comfortable relationship mode. You know the mode one after the honey moon is over. Like the excitement has ended. But when you are in the bedroom together it is clear the excitement is still there.

(As I struggle to write this next part of examples for what I am referring to, because each way I try to write it, it seems to come off wrong. So I figured it's better I just literally copy and paste some text messages my girlfriends and I have exchanged.)

"Why does a guy not jump on the opportunity to just get some when offered, why does this seem so complicated?"

"He said he had no plans, now he said we'll see how tonight goes. What's more important then sex? Especially from a guys stand point."

"I literally was standing there in some sexy lingerie, ready for some fun and he says, 'I just want to let you know I do have to get up early, so I can't stay up to late'. I was in shock!"

"We try and give them what they want but yet they turn away. It's when it complicates our lives that they become horny again."

"Seriously? He is worried about being tired? Is it not worth being tired over? One night of fun, that we both want and the next day of feeling a little tired is not the end of the world. Geese, live a little!"

"I got him all riled up texting, and he gives me... I really want to, I SERIOUSLY do... but i'm already in bed."

I personally like the excuse we've heard a few times being that "they gotta get up early" or "i'm too tired". It's kinda ironic, don't you think. How many guys complain about how their women don't want to have sex enough, that they they are tired of hearing such excuses of why they are not getting sex, including the 'I'm too tired' excuse. They commonly write references to such scenarios in all kinds of movies, sitcoms, etc. But here are some girls, smokin hot, not attached, no family/married life or relationship drama getting in the way or tiring you out even. Pure and simple, let's rock it tonight. And you say "I gotta get up really early." Is the sex you all desire so much, not worth being a little tired for? Live a little people!!!

Another interesting factor that was brought to my attention was how they always have to be at their house. The excuses start when they have to make the effort to get off their couch and come to your place, or that you have a roommate that is home, or so on and so on. But if you showed up at their door, they would be ready and willing! Is this a territory thing? A girl, whom you called on, is ready and willing, but the trip to her place is too much? Again, not worth it? Than why call on them and keep in touch if you are not willing to make some kind of effort.

Now again, I will state that this is not a relationship of the norm we are speaking of. But it is a type of a relationship. But come on people, it's still intimacy shared which means there should be a better level of respect shared and efforts made. I will always believe that the "making an effort" should never end in any relationship. You can have your off days, absolutely. We can't always be on our A game. But there should be a solid effort that each partner should continue to show appreciation for their partner, no matter what kind of relationship or agreement you have.

My closing statement to today's post is a question I kinda answered within my own post, but a statement I would like to make to the men who are in such a "relationship" with anyone...
Question: Why the excuses when given exactly what you want?
Answer: Guys are just that simple.
Statement: Guys, don't be so lazy, make a little effort. You will be highly rewarded! And remember, you can sleep when you are dead. They are worth being a little tired for once in a while. Get over yourselves.

I am always up for conversation when it comes to these topics, so guys please feel free to comment. No judgements, just want to learn. Girls, I wanna hear your stories and comments too!

5 comments:

  1. As always the problem is not with the men. The issue is with the women, probably gonna get a lot of flack for that opening comment but it's the truth. No matter how good a situation is, women always try to find a problem that never even existed. "Omg he said no to sex," automatically the who, what, where, when, and whys start rolling around up there.
    If the roles were reversed the guy wouldn't be asking all these questions. he would simply say ok let me know when you're available next time and go find something else to do. Another thought about it would NOT pass through his brain.

    In my closing statement, if the overall relationship is going along just fine leave it alone. Don't try to start reading into things like you always do. When you start investing unnecessary time and effort into something that has a lack of long term value feelings start to get involved and that's when the topic of does a booty call relationship work which is a whole other topic.

    P.S. I may or may not be on the same level as this thread as there are many underlying features associated with these types of situations. I do not know the length of time these "relationships" have been the emotional stability of these women, or if the men even feel the same way as you do about the relationship. It was not made clear in the blog that there was a proper discussion that this was how the relationship was going to work. Judging by some of the texts I would say they're the type of friends that fall in love easier then others, correct me if I'm wrong.

    P.P.S I just stumbled upon your blog love it great job Sabrina I will totally read it all the time
    Andrew

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    1. UGH... I totally had a whole good reply written out and it erased it on me when I hit publish. booo browser problems.

      What I was saying: Thank You for you comment Andrew, and your compliments. I appreciate your feedback and follow! :)

      As for getting flack from the ladies, I hope not. I actually totally agree with you. Women, do think too much about everything! That movie "He's just not that into you" was such a wake up call for some women... It may even be beneficial for them to re watch it every year to remind themselves. lol To me it was advice I was trying to give girls for years! lol The book (then the movie) being on Oprah made it an easy reference tool to give my girls when I tell them to get a reality check and stop thinking about it, cause he's not.

      I generally give myself the pep talk, cause I'm the girl who hangs with guys more than girls, and I get it, I've heard their side enough times to know to just get over it. But when incidences have happened more than once, and the girls are asking the same question, I couldn't help but publicly ask to get the guys take on this topic.
      So what I am saying, is thank you! You couldn't have answered my general question better. No flack from me! Cheers! :)

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  2. I also wanted to make another comment/excuse for you ladies, incase my last post was too harsh. We can also look at it from another angle.
    If a man can already sense the type of girl you are (questioning reading into things that are not even there.) History and experience has taught a man to "proceed with caution" with this type. In his mind he is thinking this girl reads into things way too easy "if I start spending too much time with her she might start to get the wrong idea" (her thought process) " we are starting to spend quite a bit of time together maybe we get along better then I thought I did, maybe I do like this guy more." He starts to think it might be time to cool it with this girl for a little bit I don't want her to start catching feelings on me and getting the wrong impression. So the second it becomes the slightest bit inconvenient that's my chance to say no not this time. (Just as a little hint for you ladies in a mans mind this entire thought process takes about a fraction of a second I'm just zooming in and playing it in super slowmo)
    I have seen this scenario happen on numerous occasions so it would be interesting to find out any input from a woman's perspective.

    BUT I STILL STICK TO MY PREVIOUS STATEMENT "IF IT AINT BROKE DONT TRY TO BREAK IT"

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  3. Ah ha... so that's one of the thoughts I had. The guy actually assuming the girl is over thinking things. (yes, in some cases, I totally agree with your statement). However, the girls I'm talking about in this blog, are not those girls. I think guys actually assume all girls are the same. There are some of us that are can be that simple, laid back and really honestly don't want more. And we simply are just hungry for the one thing. But when we want it, we want it. And get confused to when the guy comes up with the excuses to why not, or the "I gotta get up early", etc. comments. Only thoughts in our minds is "what guy turns it down or basically puts a time limit on it cause they don't want to be tired?". That's what this blog is about. The girls who really are not over thinking wanting it/the situation. Just over thinking why can't we just hook up and that's it. Which lead to my blog post title.

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