The Bucket List

Part of finding oneself is about taking risks in life and checking things off “The Bucket List” sooner rather than later. We all say “One Day”, but why not today? I believe we get too caught up in our everyday lives. Well I am proud to say, I checked off a bucket list item this past weekend: White Water Rafting. This has been on my list for wayyyy to long.

I lucked out, winning two passes at Inglewood Sunfest to go with Alpine Rafting in Golden, BC. I thought, why not, let’s do this and booked it right away!  So a big thank you to Inglewood Sunfest for tickets!

These passes were not some family river run either, thank goodness,  cause I am kind of a thrill junkie. My girlfriend Ginna and I signed up for the Kicking Horse RiverChallenge. I appreciated starting our day on the family run portion so we had a chance to get comfortable with all the “moves”, i.e. “Hold On!”,  “Forward Right”, etc.

I will plug Alpine Rafting here for an amazing experience. The guides were so great; they were funny, explained everything so well.  Lunch was great, too; unexpected to have such a great BBQ lunch spread included. When I go back, it’ll be with AlpineRafting (www.alpinerafting.com).

Ginna and I were put in the raft with the head guide, Ryan. He was our own personal tour guide who really knew his surroundings, had extensive knowledge of rafting in general and of the river; he had all the stories, the history of our surroundings, the geology, and so much more. Let alone, ladies, he was a total cutie. (Actually a lot of the guides were.)

So on to the ride… loved it. I anticipated it to be scarier than it was. However, maybe it’s a good thing it wasn’t because my hands were so sore from paddling so hard for the last long stretch of constant rapids. Paddling through the rapids is serious work out (well for those of us who don’t work out at all.)

Then there was the final stretch, calm waters… in the raft. We had the option to jump out and get your swim on. Let’s say I am SOOOO glad I never fell out the entire trip and had an accidental swimming experience in another part of the river.  I jumped out for the swim; I was all over the idea. Thought it would be an easy fun ride as he said it would be. I have swum a deep distance in the ocean plenty of times back in PEI. I love the water. Everyone else in the boat enjoyed it. For me, it ended up being a moment of the scariest shit ever! The feeling of drowning is not a comfortable feeling at all. He had warned us how our body might feel; he had explained how to react to it all beforehand, and thank goodness he did. My body did just as he said it would and I had to remind myself of how to control the situation. Number one rule from the beginning “Save Yourself”.

Why was it so scary? Well I rolled out of the boat and immediately sank under the water. Then as I swam to the surface I felt the strong current pulling me along. I barely had my head up and then a wave crashed down on my face pushing me back down. My mouth was wide open and filled with water. I felt like I couldn’t breathe and there was nothing to grab. No moment to just say “hold on, let me catch my breath.” Think of a scene from a surfing movie like Blue Crush, where the rider falls off and is caught under the waves, can’t catch her breath, struggling to swim. When you come up for air your body panics so much that it feels like it has shut down and you can’t swim. Thank goodness for my life jacket. Ryan had explained, when you feel like you can’t swim, just put your feet in front of you, knees up, and just lay back and float. So I did. I started to regain my senses and began to calm down although I was still struggling to breathe because I had swallowed too much water. Everything we had been taught came in real handy and I got back to the boat. All good.

It was an amazing day! And I highly recommend it.

FOR THE RECORD: I am not trying to scare anyone off from ever trying it. It just happened to be how I caught the water. Ginna was scared the entire trip, but the swim for her, she loved it. It was simple and easy. Go figure. Me the tough girl, “swimming will be no problem”, and I’m the baby in the end.

Absolutely a winning check off my bucket list. What’s next? 

What is on your bucket list? 

Here are some photos from our trip. All photos courtesy of Alpine Rafting, because we couldn't bring cameras on the trip ourselves I am very grateful that they take photos for us. 

Ryan our the guide (center in the back), Myself far back on the left,
and Ginna is far back on the right.

Call Me Maybe

So my blog is about taking chances and putting oneself out there, right? Well, I took my own advice, and took a risk to “Just Do It.”

I always tell guys to put themselves out there and just ask the girl. I like that old school romantic moment, when the guy asks a girl out. But why shouldn’t girls do the same? So, as much as I try to avoid asking someone, one must adapt to the times. It is a new age and girls should be just as forward as guys when they have an interest in someone.

So this situation felt a bit awkward; it was at a kids birthday party, one of those where the parents stay and hang out.

So when I arrived, my son takes off to play with his friend. We were at Riley Park (those who are not from here, it’s one of those open landscaped areas that has room to setup for BBQs, a playground, and a wading pool.). I started to chat with the birthday boy’s parents, held their baby for a bit, and met some of the other parents.  One parent looked familiar; let’s call him Tom. While I chatted with the birthday boy’s dad, Tom walked up. Just before the dad had a chance to introduce him, I spoke, “You look really familiar”. He said the same. Turns out he runs a restaurant, and is connected to some other people I know. So somewhere we probably had met but had never really chatted. However, we began a conversation.

We exchanged stories about what he does, and what I do. Interestingly enough, our conversation ended up lasting the entire 3.5 hours we were there. We talked about everything. He actually surprised me with how much we had in common. During our conversation, I did ask, which one is yours (meaning child). And it turns out, none of them. He was the birthday boy’s dad’s best friend. A single good looking guy, no kids, driven, artistic, polite, and he has a good job … at a kid’s birthday party?! One meets people in the strangest places and when you are really not looking.

One of those common factors between us is that we both haven’t been in a relationship for some time (like years) because we are both so busy with our careers. But you never know, right? If one is worth it, you make the effort.

So it was time to go and I was trying to round up my child. We were saying our goodbyes and in my head I was asking myself, is it even appropriate to ask this guy out at a kid’s party? I will be honest, I have no idea how to pick up someone in the first place. So I didn’t ask … but, I did pull out my card and said, “Well, here is my number. And we’ll see you again sometime,” and nervously turned to my kid and said, “Okay guys, see you later.” No chance for any response really; I just walked away.

It was that "Here's my number, Call Me Maybe" Carley Rae Jepsen hopeful moment. 

Did I leave that too open? I think he may have been interested. Especially how engaged in our conversation he had been. 3.5 hours is a long time to be engaged in conversation with only one person, when their best friend is right there too. He could have easily spent his day off with their family, not me.

At this point, I will disappoint … I didn’t hear from him. So C’est La Vie! Being the one to put myself out there was hard enough, and I am proud that I did. I consider it a lesson for the future.

Have you ever put yourself out there? How did you feel? Or are you on the other side, you took someone’s number after a long engaged conversation, and then you never followed up. What were your reasons? Not interested? Or time just passed ? I am always interested to hear the other side of the situation. 

To Date a Friend?

Today, I don’t have a date to refer to, but more a topic to discuss - the “friend zone”. You try and keep that male/female friendship just that, friends. But if you get along as well as you do, why can’t you be more? That is a question I wonder about so many times, especially when I have as many guy friends as I do. My opinion: I think it comes down to sexual chemistry.

Photo from IMDb - No Strings Attached

Sexual chemistry is so important. And not just so you can get your rocks off. However, if you have sexual chemistry you know you can always count on your partner feeding you the lines everyone likes to hear now and again. Including, “God Damn You are sexy!” Also if true chemistry is there then it keeps that trust between you and your mate in the long run.

The friend chemistry is SUPER important though. And I believe being friends with someone first, keeps that lust/honeymoon stage out of the way.  It also gives you a chemistry that sex can’t always fulfill. To me it also makes me feel more relaxed about myself. They already know I am a goof; they already know all the ins and outs of my moods because we never seem to hide that from true friends. There is no pressure when friendship comes first. You can communicate with friends easier.

How often can one be friends first? How do you turn a friend into something more? I really don’t have an answer to that question. Cause if that button is switched to friend mode, that’s it with me. I’m very black and white that way.

We all hope for a best friend in a partner, don’t we? Isn’t that where the term ‘partner’ comes from?  Do we risk dating a friend? Have they been in front of you all this time?

Photo from IMDb - Friends With Benefits

The movies “Friends with Benefits” and “No Strings Attached” are two recent movies that show this dilemma.  They are friends, they keep the sex part ‘an arrangement’, and there are no expectations that you would have if you went out on a first date. We put so much pressure on ourselves; we hold back information about who we really are, but in the end, the truth comes out. If only we could be straight up in the first place.

I leave you with an invite to give me your thoughts on dating a “friend”.  If you have an answer or an idea, I want to hear it. Share your thoughts! 

The Couch Guy

Photo from  PAPERMAG

So I may have said I wouldn’t go looking for anyone online, but online is where I found him. Well, I wasn’t exactly “looking” since it wasn’t an online dating site. This situation was completely unexpected and through a little online site you may have visited: www.kijiji.ca .

How did I meet a guy on there? I was cleaning the clutter out of my place, furniture and all. I posted some things on Kijiji, one piece was my couch (Nope not the one in the above picture, I just like this one better.)  . I received two email requests; one was eager to see it that day, as he was moving. So I made arrangements for him to come by to view it.

He came, he saw, he paid me cash to hold it until the day his movers could pick it up, as simple as that. We chatted when he stopped by, like we were old friends and not strangers, but I never thought anything of it. We texted and later talked on the phone, mainly to just rearrange the timing of the couch pick up. He was nice; he asked about my son’s hockey (happened to be a topic when he was looking at the couch). 

Two days later, he showed up with the movers. Thinking nothing of it, I was in my pajamas (pj bottoms and a hoodie), hair was a mess, and no makeup.  As he was leaving with the last couch pillow in hand, he turned around and says “So … would it be inappropriate if I were to call you when things settle down and I’m moved in, to ask you out for a coffee?”  In my head I’m thinking, “Um, what?”

Totally flattered, especially with the fact I am standing there like I just rolled out of bed, I replied, “Not inappropriate at all, and yes, yes, of course, you can.“ Pretty sure my cheeks were blushing bright red with a ‘what just happened?’ I was in shock; someone actually just old school asked me out. See ladies! There are some great guys out there! I just didn’t know I had to sell my furniture until one showed up at my door in order to meet one. LMAO

He did call, about two weeks later. We went out for dinner at UNA. We chatted for hours. Another day we even had a date on “The” couch. LoL, no, not like that, just chilling, watching a movie. But ironic, don’t you think?

However, the catch … isn’t there always one? The day he bought the couch, he was moving out of his fiancée’s place. They had just broken up, bad timing. I have to say though, he was so straight up honest with me about how much he truly liked hanging out with me, and would still like to be friends. I totally understood, and I TRULY appreciate his honesty; I didn’t want to be a rebound anyway. 

(BOYS – LESSON #1: Be straight. Don’t leave a girl wondering. We’d rather know the truth, rather than be left guessing or hurt when we find out it was all lies or have been led on! Just sayin’.)

We have hung out ever since, as friends. We have a great time, every time. Our conversations go on forever and they are refreshingly intelligent conversations.  Honestly, I like having him as a friend, now that we have gotten to know each other over time. To be honest, I don’t think we would be suited for each other as a couple. Our lifestyles, our goals, don’t really match. But he is good company, and a good friend to have.

All in all, I love the fact that opportunities abound everywhere! And kudos to those men who have the balls to just ask a girl out! (Which by the way he apparently was nervous as crap when he did, but he did it.)

Where was the oddest place/situation you have met someone? 

Where have I been?

I have been bad and reverted back to my old self; fully emerging into my work rather than spending time for me and writing my blog entries. A bad habit I need to break: when I have a new idea I end up spending all my time on it. So I apologize to my followers who started to follow and then I dropped the ball. Apology to self: stay on track with blogging and the actual purpose of this blog! I will do my best to keep up the blogposts this time around, no matter what life throws at me.

Pancho (as in Pancho Villa) is from Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.  

A Whippet/Chihuahua mix.  

In the mean time I have been on a couple dates (blogs to follow). I also got a dog. So technically the answer to “Where have I been?” Is “I really have been walking the dog”.

It was not planned; it was out of nowhere, literally. A friend was giving him up; he needed a home. I needed to take a break from work, daily. So this little rescue dog, originally from Mexico, came home with me and so gets me out every day for a walk. I so-o-o appreciate the walks we take, too. Instead of me finding myself stuck in front of my screen for 12 hours straight, going “oh god I forgot to eat”. He doesn’t let me forget to get up off my ass and get outside and breathe.

In actual fact, I meet so many more people with him. It’s nice. He’s quite the attention getter. But, I do need to work on creating a real conversation with some people though. I was hiding behind my phone and books at the restaurant before; now it’s hiding behind the dog on the streets. I only talk about the dog, and then move on. And sometimes I have a feeling they actually may have been interested in having a real conversation. But I “run”. How is it that someone as social as I am seems to shut down so easily when faced with conversation? If I am out of a “work” related situation I seem to get really quiet and feel socially lost. Who knew that “quiet” and I go hand in hand. LOL 


The dog does get me out there, and he is good for me in many ways. Now, if I wanted to connect the dog walking to setting myself up with meeting someone … I could base it on the movie “Must Love Dogs". LOL (without the online dating connection though.) I'll keep you posted.

Now that I am back and blogging, I would like to open the ‘floor’ to YOU - Challenge me! Help me find ways to get out of my shell and get out there! I would love some fresh ideas. Or even challenge yourself and figure out how to get out of your own rut. I am better at giving ideas for others than I am for myself. I get blocked when it comes to me for some reason. So give me yours and let’s see what we can make happen together. I am ready for this, now more than ever!

Dinner and a Movie

If this blog wasn't putting myself out there already, why not really expose myself! So for this post I went with a video entry. Enjoy.

(Gotta even laugh at my thumbnail image Youtube chose. ha ha)

A Date at the Laundromat

Okay, so I chose the Laundromat as a date night with myself and I really do have a movie to relate it to. The evening was actually pretty great. Yes, I said "date" and "great" while referring to hanging out at the Laundromat - alone.

(Image borrowed from CoinLaundryBusiness.blogspot.com) 

Normally, a trip to the Laundromat is an entire afternoon production with my son. He gets bored very easily. I also normally choose the weekend, when it's pretty busy, which makes you feel rushed to get your stuff out of the washers/dryers as soon as it says 0 on the timer. So this time I chose a Tuesday, and I strategically chose a particular Laundromat.

What was strategic about it? Well let's be honest and you can hate me or love me for being this honest. The possibility of meeting someone in a grungy spot means I won’t likely meet anyone who'd have potential ... a cleaner and yuppie urban located Laundromat might. I figured that men living closest to this location would be the ones who use it. This, then, equals to a guy who chooses to live in that yuppie urban neighborhood. See where I am going with this?

Now with that said, I remind all of you, I am not strictly doing this blog and location choosing to go man hunting and expecting to meet the man of my dreams. It's more about putting me in more places that offer opportunities for all kinds of things.

Have you figured out which movie I thought of as inspiration for this one? Let me give you a few hints... 2002, Josh Hartnet and Shannyn Sossamon.... yes, "40 Days and 40 Nights". 

*Clip borrowed from MovieClips Channel on You Tube.

If you haven't seen this hilarious romance comedy here is a trailer from ZUGuide Movie Trailers Channel on YouTube to give you a little more insight to the actual movie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXI4RGgNk7s

Now I don't have the issues Josh's character does- trying to get over some past relationship or choosing some celibacy path to do it, but you have to admit, pretty interesting place to meet someone.

The Laundromat is so casual. You never really dress for the Laundromat. Generally, I tend to wear whatever I don't care to miss when washing this round, since I'll be without that item until the next laundry trip. The Laundromat is also incredibly relaxing in general. Well for me it is, it forces me to just hang out and just wait.

I chose to just read my Artist's Way book and take in the ‘silence’, no other obligations, nothing. It's like sitting back and sipping on your coffee at a coffee shop. Extra bonus, this new Laundromat is actually one of the cleanest I have ever used and all their machines were actually working!

As for the men situation, yes, there were lots of men that came to this one, and some cute ones, too. One catch - They all were picking up or dropping off their laundry with the Laundromat lady! Looks like those who use a yuppie urban neighbourhood Laundromat either:

A. Rather pay others to just get the job done, or they don't have the time, nor care to ever do that task themselves, i.e. my dishes. I loathe that job so I pay someone to come do them for me. Don't laugh, who loves doing dishes?

B. They don't know how to do their laundry. Perhaps they are the boy whose mother did their laundry for them. I have dated that guy, the one who had his mother still do his laundry when living with me even though we had a working washer in dryer in our house! He dropped it Friday and she'd have it done and on hangers Sunday. But some guys are like that, still a little attached to letting their mom do things for them. Not exactly the type of guy I am looking for.

The only people who came in that night to actually do their laundry themselves included a gay guy, a girl, and some guy who literally carried his laundry in from the trunk of his truck, handful by handful. *Tip for that guy, at least use a garbage bag. :)

I did enjoy my evening, sitting back and relaxing, alone and I have decided to make time every week, during the week, for a trip to a Laundromat again. Maybe it will be a different one each time; you never know who I may meet during one of my next visits. 

Getting Started...

So here we are. Challenge number one. Getting started is the challenge for me. I am actually nervous. Some of you may ask why am I doing this publicly, well I need to challenge myself publicly to get it done I think, and just stop thinking about it.

Believe me I have run it over and over in my head, why am I not meeting someone, why do I not get approached, blah blah blah. I am reminded by friends and family that I am bright, ambitious, pretty, funny, yada yada yada. (Notice I had to mention "others tell me the following...", that is part of the issue in itself, me not believing some of that). But besides all that, I am out all the time, I attend so many events, I network like crazy, I talk shop the whole time, I am here and there all night. Otherwise I am at home or the office, working. (Like I am right now, lol)

There is a lot more to me than the world I work in, (oil & gas, fashion and art). And I am looking for others who can connect outside that world but can respect my work world too.

Anyway, some of this blog idea also came together because I am currently reading The Artist's Way right now with my Art Group and I am supposed to have a date with myself once a week. Haven't quite got there yet, I'll be honest and say that I am a week overdue for my 1st artist date, so now I have to get two done before we meet next.

What is an Artist Date? (As the book explains) "An Artist Date is a block of time perhaps two hours weekly, especially set aside and committed to nurturing your creative consciousness, your inner artist. This date is an excursion, a play date that you pre plan and defend against all interlopers.You can not take anyone on this artist date but you and your inner artist, a.k.a. your creative child." (page 18, if you would like to read more about this.)


Another reason I am writing this blog, a friend pointed out to me, in fact so has my son, that there are men out there but I am not paying attention, or even giving them a sign to take a chance. I don't see it, I really don't.  Maybe I don't see it because I can put myself in front a crowd of hundreds and talk and joke, etc, and believe me I can talk, but I can talk about anyone but me. If it is me related it's the projects I am working on for work. But not me personally. My work is about everyone else and me wanting to make a difference for them. And I LOVE it, don't get me wrong. But honestly it's lonely. If you put me in a position where I have to talk about me, or some guy is checking me out and I should at least respond with a smile if interested... I don't, I crumble or am so zoned out that I don't allow myself to see they are even there. The idea of them "seeing" me, I think scares me.

So there it is. I am here now laying it out publicly and excited to take on this challenge/journey to finding me, while meeting others along the way. And sharing it, also because I am sure that there are others who can some how relate to me, at least here is hoping. At the very least, laugh at my journey through all this. lol

Next challenge, picking a good romantic movie, watching it, and putting myself out there. Whether I am borrowing my girlfriend's dog to go to the dog park and interact with someone that way, i.e. "Must Love Dogs", or pinching some guys butt at a bar, i.e. "The Sweetest Thing", that one I am joking about. So be it!

Join in on this challenge for yourself, or if you are looking for someone, or both. Please comment/share any movies I should challenge myself with.