Call Me Maybe

So my blog is about taking chances and putting oneself out there, right? Well, I took my own advice, and took a risk to “Just Do It.”

I always tell guys to put themselves out there and just ask the girl. I like that old school romantic moment, when the guy asks a girl out. But why shouldn’t girls do the same? So, as much as I try to avoid asking someone, one must adapt to the times. It is a new age and girls should be just as forward as guys when they have an interest in someone.

So this situation felt a bit awkward; it was at a kids birthday party, one of those where the parents stay and hang out.

So when I arrived, my son takes off to play with his friend. We were at Riley Park (those who are not from here, it’s one of those open landscaped areas that has room to setup for BBQs, a playground, and a wading pool.). I started to chat with the birthday boy’s parents, held their baby for a bit, and met some of the other parents.  One parent looked familiar; let’s call him Tom. While I chatted with the birthday boy’s dad, Tom walked up. Just before the dad had a chance to introduce him, I spoke, “You look really familiar”. He said the same. Turns out he runs a restaurant, and is connected to some other people I know. So somewhere we probably had met but had never really chatted. However, we began a conversation.

We exchanged stories about what he does, and what I do. Interestingly enough, our conversation ended up lasting the entire 3.5 hours we were there. We talked about everything. He actually surprised me with how much we had in common. During our conversation, I did ask, which one is yours (meaning child). And it turns out, none of them. He was the birthday boy’s dad’s best friend. A single good looking guy, no kids, driven, artistic, polite, and he has a good job … at a kid’s birthday party?! One meets people in the strangest places and when you are really not looking.

One of those common factors between us is that we both haven’t been in a relationship for some time (like years) because we are both so busy with our careers. But you never know, right? If one is worth it, you make the effort.

So it was time to go and I was trying to round up my child. We were saying our goodbyes and in my head I was asking myself, is it even appropriate to ask this guy out at a kid’s party? I will be honest, I have no idea how to pick up someone in the first place. So I didn’t ask … but, I did pull out my card and said, “Well, here is my number. And we’ll see you again sometime,” and nervously turned to my kid and said, “Okay guys, see you later.” No chance for any response really; I just walked away.

It was that "Here's my number, Call Me Maybe" Carley Rae Jepsen hopeful moment. 

Did I leave that too open? I think he may have been interested. Especially how engaged in our conversation he had been. 3.5 hours is a long time to be engaged in conversation with only one person, when their best friend is right there too. He could have easily spent his day off with their family, not me.

At this point, I will disappoint … I didn’t hear from him. So C’est La Vie! Being the one to put myself out there was hard enough, and I am proud that I did. I consider it a lesson for the future.

Have you ever put yourself out there? How did you feel? Or are you on the other side, you took someone’s number after a long engaged conversation, and then you never followed up. What were your reasons? Not interested? Or time just passed ? I am always interested to hear the other side of the situation. 

To Date a Friend?

Today, I don’t have a date to refer to, but more a topic to discuss - the “friend zone”. You try and keep that male/female friendship just that, friends. But if you get along as well as you do, why can’t you be more? That is a question I wonder about so many times, especially when I have as many guy friends as I do. My opinion: I think it comes down to sexual chemistry.

Photo from IMDb - No Strings Attached

Sexual chemistry is so important. And not just so you can get your rocks off. However, if you have sexual chemistry you know you can always count on your partner feeding you the lines everyone likes to hear now and again. Including, “God Damn You are sexy!” Also if true chemistry is there then it keeps that trust between you and your mate in the long run.

The friend chemistry is SUPER important though. And I believe being friends with someone first, keeps that lust/honeymoon stage out of the way.  It also gives you a chemistry that sex can’t always fulfill. To me it also makes me feel more relaxed about myself. They already know I am a goof; they already know all the ins and outs of my moods because we never seem to hide that from true friends. There is no pressure when friendship comes first. You can communicate with friends easier.

How often can one be friends first? How do you turn a friend into something more? I really don’t have an answer to that question. Cause if that button is switched to friend mode, that’s it with me. I’m very black and white that way.

We all hope for a best friend in a partner, don’t we? Isn’t that where the term ‘partner’ comes from?  Do we risk dating a friend? Have they been in front of you all this time?

Photo from IMDb - Friends With Benefits

The movies “Friends with Benefits” and “No Strings Attached” are two recent movies that show this dilemma.  They are friends, they keep the sex part ‘an arrangement’, and there are no expectations that you would have if you went out on a first date. We put so much pressure on ourselves; we hold back information about who we really are, but in the end, the truth comes out. If only we could be straight up in the first place.

I leave you with an invite to give me your thoughts on dating a “friend”.  If you have an answer or an idea, I want to hear it. Share your thoughts! 

The Couch Guy

Photo from  PAPERMAG

So I may have said I wouldn’t go looking for anyone online, but online is where I found him. Well, I wasn’t exactly “looking” since it wasn’t an online dating site. This situation was completely unexpected and through a little online site you may have visited: www.kijiji.ca .

How did I meet a guy on there? I was cleaning the clutter out of my place, furniture and all. I posted some things on Kijiji, one piece was my couch (Nope not the one in the above picture, I just like this one better.)  . I received two email requests; one was eager to see it that day, as he was moving. So I made arrangements for him to come by to view it.

He came, he saw, he paid me cash to hold it until the day his movers could pick it up, as simple as that. We chatted when he stopped by, like we were old friends and not strangers, but I never thought anything of it. We texted and later talked on the phone, mainly to just rearrange the timing of the couch pick up. He was nice; he asked about my son’s hockey (happened to be a topic when he was looking at the couch). 

Two days later, he showed up with the movers. Thinking nothing of it, I was in my pajamas (pj bottoms and a hoodie), hair was a mess, and no makeup.  As he was leaving with the last couch pillow in hand, he turned around and says “So … would it be inappropriate if I were to call you when things settle down and I’m moved in, to ask you out for a coffee?”  In my head I’m thinking, “Um, what?”

Totally flattered, especially with the fact I am standing there like I just rolled out of bed, I replied, “Not inappropriate at all, and yes, yes, of course, you can.“ Pretty sure my cheeks were blushing bright red with a ‘what just happened?’ I was in shock; someone actually just old school asked me out. See ladies! There are some great guys out there! I just didn’t know I had to sell my furniture until one showed up at my door in order to meet one. LMAO

He did call, about two weeks later. We went out for dinner at UNA. We chatted for hours. Another day we even had a date on “The” couch. LoL, no, not like that, just chilling, watching a movie. But ironic, don’t you think?

However, the catch … isn’t there always one? The day he bought the couch, he was moving out of his fiancée’s place. They had just broken up, bad timing. I have to say though, he was so straight up honest with me about how much he truly liked hanging out with me, and would still like to be friends. I totally understood, and I TRULY appreciate his honesty; I didn’t want to be a rebound anyway. 

(BOYS – LESSON #1: Be straight. Don’t leave a girl wondering. We’d rather know the truth, rather than be left guessing or hurt when we find out it was all lies or have been led on! Just sayin’.)

We have hung out ever since, as friends. We have a great time, every time. Our conversations go on forever and they are refreshingly intelligent conversations.  Honestly, I like having him as a friend, now that we have gotten to know each other over time. To be honest, I don’t think we would be suited for each other as a couple. Our lifestyles, our goals, don’t really match. But he is good company, and a good friend to have.

All in all, I love the fact that opportunities abound everywhere! And kudos to those men who have the balls to just ask a girl out! (Which by the way he apparently was nervous as crap when he did, but he did it.)

Where was the oddest place/situation you have met someone? 

Where have I been?

I have been bad and reverted back to my old self; fully emerging into my work rather than spending time for me and writing my blog entries. A bad habit I need to break: when I have a new idea I end up spending all my time on it. So I apologize to my followers who started to follow and then I dropped the ball. Apology to self: stay on track with blogging and the actual purpose of this blog! I will do my best to keep up the blogposts this time around, no matter what life throws at me.

Pancho (as in Pancho Villa) is from Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.  

A Whippet/Chihuahua mix.  

In the mean time I have been on a couple dates (blogs to follow). I also got a dog. So technically the answer to “Where have I been?” Is “I really have been walking the dog”.

It was not planned; it was out of nowhere, literally. A friend was giving him up; he needed a home. I needed to take a break from work, daily. So this little rescue dog, originally from Mexico, came home with me and so gets me out every day for a walk. I so-o-o appreciate the walks we take, too. Instead of me finding myself stuck in front of my screen for 12 hours straight, going “oh god I forgot to eat”. He doesn’t let me forget to get up off my ass and get outside and breathe.

In actual fact, I meet so many more people with him. It’s nice. He’s quite the attention getter. But, I do need to work on creating a real conversation with some people though. I was hiding behind my phone and books at the restaurant before; now it’s hiding behind the dog on the streets. I only talk about the dog, and then move on. And sometimes I have a feeling they actually may have been interested in having a real conversation. But I “run”. How is it that someone as social as I am seems to shut down so easily when faced with conversation? If I am out of a “work” related situation I seem to get really quiet and feel socially lost. Who knew that “quiet” and I go hand in hand. LOL 


The dog does get me out there, and he is good for me in many ways. Now, if I wanted to connect the dog walking to setting myself up with meeting someone … I could base it on the movie “Must Love Dogs". LOL (without the online dating connection though.) I'll keep you posted.

Now that I am back and blogging, I would like to open the ‘floor’ to YOU - Challenge me! Help me find ways to get out of my shell and get out there! I would love some fresh ideas. Or even challenge yourself and figure out how to get out of your own rut. I am better at giving ideas for others than I am for myself. I get blocked when it comes to me for some reason. So give me yours and let’s see what we can make happen together. I am ready for this, now more than ever!